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09.24.2021: Our Relationships Shape us

These days, families come in all shapes and sizes; lesbian parents, single mothers, single fathers, gay fathers, and the traditional heterozygous parents. Which of these many different kinds of families are best for children? Are children from one kind of family at a disadvantage compared to another? and the opposite can be asked; do children from one family have an advantage compared to a child who came from another? There aren't many studies that can answer these questions truthfully. We find it difficult to find truthful answers to these questions because many of the studies and experiments that have been done have small sample sizes, no control groups, people involved in the testing, studies filled with bias and many other design flaws. Not to mention that many studies don’t always take into account the children’s experiences; as well as the information of the studies are always changing. But here is my personal opinion: I wouldn’t be the person who I am today if I didn’t have my parents. Let me explain; Mothers and fathers have different roles that can’t be filled by anyone else. As a child my mother taught me many things; how to cook, how to work hard, and how to be patient… Although I’m still working on that last one. I would always go to her if I had a question or a problem or if I just wanted to talk; I remember vividly, spending hours and hours sitting at the kitchen table late at night with my mom, doing homework for High School. Even now that I’m 20 years old, I still call her up seeking her advice concerning the small things and telling her everything that is going on in my life. I have never felt as though I needed to hide anything from her.




On the other hand, my relationship with my father is quite different when compared to the relationship I have with my Mother. My dad also taught me things like; how to buck bails, how to drive stick, and how to get out of cleaning up after dinner. Yes, I go to him for help with problems, such as, “why is my car making that sound” and “why is the sink gurgling?”

I know that my character would be completely different if I had been raised by a lesbian or a gay couple. I’m pretty sure that I would have had 2 mother daughter bonds or 2 father daughter bonds; rather than one of each. Each bond taught me something different. Not to mention, growing up with a father in the house helped me to learn what I do and do not want in my future husband. Having a mother in the house taught me what kind of a mother I want to be when I have children. Don’t children have the right to be raised in a place where they can experience both of these bonds, not just one, or the other?

Please, don’t get me wrong; I’m sure that they are many single parents, gay, and lesbian couples that are amazing parents and having amazing bonds with their children. I believe that one can’t find the same kind of bonds in a family that consists of gay/lesbian couple or single parent, as you can find in the more traditional heterozygous families.

Not to mention that single parents are at a disadvantage compared to traditional parents or gay/lesbian couples. Let me explain; in the traditional family and in a gay/lesbian parentship there are 2 parents. Whereas single parents, there is just the one parent to take on every responsibility of raising the child or children.

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